Memorial Stones

We've been talking at church about Joshua and the victories God gave him in some of the most unlikely ways.  In the discussions that accompanied this topic, we've been asked often to reflect on the victories we've seen God provide in our lives.  Every time I'm asked to reflect on the victories He has given me lately, I wrack my brain to come up with something.  Surely there's something He's done for me.  But the only thing I can think of is the fact that we've spent thousands of dollars on fertility treatments and we are still baby-less.  For two years we've been on this road, and we still do not have a baby.

And then today I realized something.

Even though we're still in the midst of the desert (literally, I'm pretty sure my uterus is a desert), I've still had victories.  They're not the victories I wanted (i.e. BABIES!), but they're victories nonetheless.  It's amazing to me how quickly I forget the spiritual victories I've had along the way.

The spiritual lessons He's taught me are victories!  Like this post.  It was the first post I wrote about our infertility.  Or this post.  These lessons are things I need to continue to meditate on.  I need to remember where I've been.

In Joshua chapter 3, God miraculously takes the Israelites across the Jordan River on dry land on their way to take possession of the Promised Land.  But when they reached the other side in chapter 4 they didn't head straight to the next battle.  They built a memorial to remember where they came from.

...and Joshua said to them: "Cross over before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and each one of you take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the children of Israel, that this may be a sign among you when your children ask in time to come, saying, "What do these stones mean to you?"

We aren't supposed to go through the desert and cross the Jordan River and forget everything we've come through.  We are supposed to remember our trials, our struggles and the seemingly small victories along the way.

My victories in this journey haven't been a baby (yet), but I definitely have had spiritual victories.  There have been very specific moments when I have felt content and at peace with where God has us.  And then without even realizing it, I take my eyes off the Giver of Peace and I start to focus back on what I don't have.  And I forget the victory.  

I thank God for this blog, because it serves as a reminder to me of my victories.  It helps me to remember when God revealed to me that this trial comes with a purpose and a promise.  It reminds me of the struggle to have hope in the midst of the waiting, and that my hope is in Him.