WANTED: Prayer Warriors

I’m learning new things about China every day.  For example, I had no idea that Chinese toddlers don’t wear diapers. Nope.  No diapers.  But they do wear pants that are split in the rear so they can squat and they pee in the streets!  Talk about a culture shock! 

Not quite as big of a shocker as the diaper-less toddlers, but I also was not aware that I would have to apply for a visa in order to go to China AND get visa photos taken.  I booked my seats for the flight to Beijing in the middle of visa application stuff and couldn’t help but wonder “WHOSE LIFE HAVE I STEPPED INTO?!  This sure isn’t the life I’m used to living!”

I have to tell you that I have been absolutely overwhelmed by the generosity of my friends and family.  I sent out a batch of support letters (knowing absolutely nothing about raising money for a trip like this!), and have been completely bowled over by the response!  The first day of receiving support in the mail, I literally sat in my living room and wept.  God is SOO good!  When I was initially deciding whether or not to go on this trip, I wanted a sign from God - a billboard, really – to tell me whether or not I should go.  Instead, He was asking me to step out in faith.  I was trusting Him to close the door if China was not in my future.  Instead, I found myself weeping tears of pure joy.  He was telling me to keep walking.

So as I continue this China journey (one I still can’t believe I’m on!), I am completely at peace with the money aspect of this trip.  Mind you, I’m just a little over ¼ of the way to what I need financially.  But I know He’ll provide.  What I am more concerned with right now is building up a network of prayer warriors who will pray over me in preparation of the trip and lift me up while I am traveling and teaching overseas.  I am absolutely convinced that I was made for such a time as this.  BIG things are going to happen this summer.  I’m nervous and excited and anxious and unsure and joyful all at the same time.  I want to make sure that I am doing the necessary prep work so that God can use me to the fullest extent while I’m there.  I believe whole heartedly that a big part of that preparedness lies within prayer. 

Will you pray with me?  Will you pray for me?  Will you be part of this amazing work that God is going to do this summer?  I need serious prayer warriors more than I need finances. 

I know this is a serious post, but I couldn't help but use this picture!  It's a recruitment poster I used at school for my choir kids, but I WANT YOU to join my prayer team, too!

If you’re willing to join my team this summer with your prayers, I would love for you to send me your name and mailing address.  My friend Courtney is in charge of the prayer team and she’s ready to start prayin’!

Father, thank you.  Thank you for the chance to be used by You.  Thank you for the love and support of my friends and family (real life and blog world!).  

China On My Mind

I'm going to China.

My honest response to this decision is WHAT??? I'm going to be honest. I have NEVER - I repeat, NEVER - had any interest whatsoever to go to China.

None.

Zip.

Zero.

Zilch.

Nada.

And then one Sunday I was sitting in church when I saw a little blurb in our bulletin about a trip to China to teach conversational English. I thought, "That sounds like a perfect trip for me as a teacher." Regardless of the fact that I have never really cared about China.

I feel like I should back up just a second.......

My church is constantly sending people to Jamaica and El Salvador and every other corner of the world. But the trips are always during the school year when I can't go. Or they've conflicted with grad school. A few months ago the singles pastor announced a trip to Jamaica to do good 'ole manual labor for a week, love on people, and then go home. Sounded like my kind of trip! But it's in October. All teachers know they can't miss so much as a second of school in October because of grade cards and Parent/Teacher conferences. I was bummed about not being able to go because I was really feeling like the Lord wanted me to join my church in one of these trips.

So, back to what I am now affectionately referring to as China Sunday.

I decided to pray about the trip, and as the week progressed I all but forgot about the whole thing. The next Sunday it was in the bulletin again. The deadline was February 15 which was just over a week away. I emailed to get some information about the trip the next day. The China ball started rolling and it just never stopped!

I was pretty much praying NON STOP for an answer.

LORD, SHOULD I GO TO CHINA?!?!?!??

No answer. As hard as I prayed, as much counsel as I sought, I did not have a clear yes or a clear no.

LORD! IF YOU WANT ME TO GO TO CHINA, I WILL GO. BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO GO TO CHINA, I DON'T WANT TO GO! JUST TELL ME!!

Honestly, I was looking for a billboard that said in big, bold letters:

CHINA.

Or one that said

NO.

I mean, he's God. He could give me a billboard sized answer if He wanted to.

So two days after the deadline, I still didn't have a clear answer. I emailed a friend of mine the night before who had given me this answer:

I would have to say keep walking forward till he gives you a NO......make up your mind to walk until He says otherwise.

NOT HELPFUL.

I promptly deleted the email while grumbling under my breath as to how I could possibly keep walking forward without a yes or a no. I mean, seriously. Not the response or counsel I was looking for.

So I decided to fast the next day. I'm studying the Biblical practices of prayer and fasting, and so I figured this would be as good a time as any to try it out for myself. So I fasted. All day.

By 4:10 when I walked my students out to the buses, I still didn't have an answer. I was tired. I was discouraged. And I was hungry! A friend of mine who also loves the Lord was divinely sent to come talk to me after school. I'm pretty sure she walked into my room to find me completely dejected with my head on my desk. After talking with her for a while, I heard the Word I needed.

Step out in faith. In the process of going to China, my sole motivation is obedience. If the Lord doesn't want me to be in China, he'll stop me. He won't let it happen. But I'm taking a (scary) step out in faith to be obedient to where I feel He's calling me to go. If God doesn't want me to go, I know I can trust Him to be incredibly clear. (Acts 16)

I laughed out loud at the Word she spoke. It's exactly what my friend emailed me the night before. I just wasn't ready to hear it until I had humbled myself through fasting all day. (Thank you Lord for wise counsel confirmed two times over!)

And then I ate a Tootsie Roll. Not sure how Biblical that is....but I figured I'd received my answer from the Lord so it was okay to try to satiate my hunger a little bit!

So I'm going to China. HOLY COW! It was only after I made the official decision to step out in faith and obedience that I learned some VERY SCARY details of the trip.

1. I might be going alone. At this point I'm the only one from my church that's going. I'll be meeting up with a whole bunch of random people in Atlanta to go to China with.

2. I won't be able to communicate with anyone from home for the entire time I'm gone -- which is almost THREE WEEKS!

This is NOT the kind of trip I had in mind, Lord.

And then he spoke again through my friend Courtney. The truth in her words brought me to tears.

Lauren, I am so excited for you. Excited as in oh.my.goodness.this.is.BIG! You can be scared. But I'm not scared for you because I know you'll be ok getting to and from China and while you are there. I feel so certain that this trip is--as you said--not a typical church trip. That His purpose is not necessarily the kids you'll meet or the opportunities to witness that it will provide, but for you to give Him the time and attention He needs to get you all to Himself and let you let Him BE. Be your God, be your parent, be your comfort, be your friend, be the first one you run to when you are scared, the first one you run to when you are thrilled. We all three know (you, me, Him ;) ) how dear and near your family is to you. You love them, but He needs to show you HIMSELF as if you were the only one on earth He came for and is coming back for. You simply cannot let go of them enough here to let Him be all that He is and wants to PROVE He is to you and for you here. If He has to take you to the other side of the world, He will. It's too important for you to learn. I feel very strongly this is preparation for your ability to leave and cleave to a husband in the next season as well.

I don't know that you wanted to hear ANY of that!

But I see so clearly this:

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

Amnesia

Sometimes I pray the Lord would grant me amnesia. When an ugly part of my past rears it's ugly head (by means of an email I wasn't anticipating), my heart and mind are immediately taken back to a time when I was not -- and I repeat not -- walking with the Lord. It takes me back to the hurt and the desperation. It takes me back to a time when I felt like God was distant -- not because He chose to be, mind you, but because I was choosing a path that was not of Him. I chose my idol over my God. That is a painful place to go back to. And every time I go back there, I go on emotional overload.


The most recent was about a week ago. Thankfully (and I truly mean thank you, Jesus!) my wonderful and beautiful friend Courtney intervened with an email of her own.

Pastor Phil preached on Joseph. He's one of my favorites. He named his first son FORGET and his second son FRUITFUL. He had to forget his past in order to be fruitful and fulfilled in his present and future. Phil said God's not going to strike you with amnesia of your mind, but he can take the emotion out of the memories and let your heart be freed from the bondage and burden of bitterness.

Satan would LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE for you to be a slave to those emotions you felt again today. Don't help him! Ask God to walk you through them as they come up and let HIM point out why He's said NO.

I believe more this night than I ever have before that your singleness is a spiritual fight. You want something so godly that will witness and minister to many. The enemy doesn't want that. He's using pawns of your past.

I have never before considered my singleness to be a spiritual fight. But the moment I read Courtney's words, I knew she was right. It is a spiritual fight for me -- in so many ways! Satan wants me to live in the sin, the bitterness, the guilt and the loneliness. And as long as I'm living there, I am not truly able to commune with Jesus.

I've felt for the last semester that the Lord has been speaking a very specific Word to my heart. The second I heard Him speak, I grabbed on to His message. But as the days and weeks and months have gone by I've begun to wonder if that Word was from Him or if it was just me trying to make myself feel better. It's the Type A, over-analytical thing coming out. Anyone relate??

I'm memorizing scripture with Beth Moore's scripture memory team this year. I've spent the last month focused on Jeremiah and the Lord's promises found in that book. While I may be doubting the Word he revealed to me those months ago, He has His written Word available for me any time of the day.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Jeremiah 29:11-13

Father, I thank you for Your promises. And I thank you for a specific and personal Word you've given to me. Jesus, while I know you won't strike me down with amnesia (as much as I would love that!), I pray that you would strip the memories of emotion. Help me to live in victory and glory and not in the wake of sin. Thank you, Jesus, for friends who speak Truth!

Is It Summer Yet?

This is the end of snow day #2 this week and we're off again tomorrow.  Kansas City got hit hard by this latest storm.  Honestly, we've been hit hard by every storm this year!  I think tomorrow is our 8th snow day this year -- and they've all ben in the months of January and February!  Needless to say, the kids aren't learning much  when we're not at school and I'm starting to get restless!!  Normally I love snow days, but I'm running out of things to do. Plus, it's just not that much fun when it's just me and the cats.  Snow days would be so much more enjoyable if there were a hubby coming home at the end of it!!  :-)

So, as not exciting as it has been,  here is snow day #2 this week.  PS.....there's a reason I'm not in any of the pics.  No makeup and still in my pjs.  Yup.  It's a snow day!


So here's the snow.  We got about a foot last night and the snow drifts were pretty crazy.  Here's my back porch.

Ginger was really interested in everything going on outside this morning.  She can barely see over the snow drift against the sliding glass door!

I worked on lesson plans this morning.  This is pretty much where the cats sit all the time.  One at my head, one at my feet.

I figured out how to keep the cats off my treadmill during the day.  Duh, right?

I tormented Ginger with the DVD screen saver deal.

After a couple of movies, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen floor, etc, etc, I was pretty much out of things to do for the day.  So....I made banana bread.  I mean, why not?

After a day like that, who wouldn't want to be me, right? :-)  Here's to hoping tomorrow is more exciting!  I finally got my driveway cleared so I won't be hanging around the house tomorrow!

Show Us Your Singles!

Hello Kelly’s Korner readers! I’m Courtney and, with permission, taking over Lauren’s blog to introduce her to YOU and your single GUYS!

This is Lauren……….

Look at that smile! I cannot help but smile when I think of her smiling! She radiates joy and warmth!

Lauren and I have known each other since we were tots growing up in church together. One of my favorite memories of us is singing a duet together for a Christmas pageant when we were upper elementary age. I remember we put our heads together at the end of the song. She was in her element even back then…singing for Jesus! She loves music and experiences God through music. I love that she always has a song in her heart and will sing it out wherever she is!

Lauren is 28 and lives in Kansas City, Missouri. She truly is a beautiful, strong, capable and intelligent woman. All who know Lauren know she is passionate and determined. Whatever she sets her hand to do, she’ll do with forethought, focus, and follow through.

Lauren is a 2^nd grade teacher, having felt led to leave her love of teaching elementary music to gain additional teaching experience as she finishes up her Education Specialist degree this year. Her co-workers praise her influence on students and describe her as an advocate who knows just the right questions to ask and will speak up when she thinks an injustice is being done or something is not purposeful. It’s easy to see that she loves her students. Her eyes are filled with pride (and tears!) as she champions their achievements!

She's always been one to take steps to have a life of meaning and purpose in Jesus. In the last year I've watched as she has responded to Him more fully and in great faith that His plans are to be her plans. God has led her to get out of debt, change teaching focus, and daily meet with Him.

Lauren would love to meet a tall, active, intelligent man who is confident, compassionate, educated, and courageous. She wants a man who is willing to be open and transparent, love the Lord first, enjoys newness in life, and is ready to be loved.

She'll be his partner shouting in the stands at the game and the princess on his arm all dressed up ready for the opera. She'll always be up for an ice cream date and a great discussion over wine.

If your guy will appreciate Lauren’s well rounded feminine fabulousness,

leave a comment with a way for her to contact you!

Family and Football

We had lots of fun over the Christmas break, and I thought I'd share some pics! My cousin Larry and his family flew in from D.C. to spend Christmas with us. I haven't seen them in YEARS!! It was so great to have them back in Kansas City!!

My cousin Larry and my sister Meredith

This is Larry, Regina and the kiddos. We we teaching the youngsters how to steal presents from their family members. I think we may need to find a word other than "steal." :-)

My Uncle Johnny and his wife Carol

My mom was trying out the timer on her new camera. My cousin Debby and I were happy to pose for a few pics while everyone else was oblivious.

And this is my favorite picture of the whole night! The top one is everybody all nice and pretty for the picture. Then the timer went off while one of the kiddos was upset. You can see who the true professionals are here! We're not distracted by a little crying! :-)

Okay, so besides family, the winter has pretty much been all about football! And the last few games have been COLD!!!!

We've been bundling up tight! (So tight that I look like a boy!)

And people wonder why I'm not married! ;-)

Here's me and my dad the day after Christmas getting ready for the game!

That's all I've got of the football pics. When you're THAT bundled up, it's hard to take a lot of pictures! And after that, who really wants to see anymore?

Desires of My Heart

Since as far back as I can remember I have had a heart for fostering and adoption.  For some reason it's just something I have always desired.  That desire has only increased as I have been a teacher.  We have a foster family in our school who had three little boys.  The oldest was a first grader when I started teaching and I was blessed to see him graduate fifth grade last year.  The two younger boys are now in third and fourth grade.  These boys have lived a life that you wouldn't wish on any child.  From stories of running from the "bad men" to pushing away all affection because everyone they love leaves them, these boys needed saving.  They needed someone to love them and STAY with them no matter what.

And then last year it happened.

This beautiful woman from another state altogether saved them.  She adopted them!  I will never forget the day this woman came to school to get the boys.  I was eating lunch in the library when I heard that she was at school in the office to get the boys.  I have never dropped my food so fast!  I all but ran to the office and before she had any idea who I was I hugging that woman!  Through tears I explained that I had been the boys' music teacher for the past five years and that I loved those boys so much and that I loved her so much for saving them!  


Saying goodbye to the boys was hard for the entire school (they had a pretty big presence there :-)  ).  But we were all overflowing with joy.

Friday they came back to visit.  The adoption was being finalized.  PRAISE YOU, JESUS!!!  I didn't get a chance to see the boys, but the office staff took a picture and sent it out.  Oh, can I just tell you how beautiful they were?!  For probably the first time in a long time, they were just.......HAPPY. 

Of course that spawned conversation of adoption and how wonderful this lady is for taking these beautiful boys.  My mom and I have talked about adoption a lot.  She's thrilled for other people, but it's not her heart.  I was talking with some friends -- and it's not their heart either.

Adoption isn't something everyone wants (you know like getting married and having babies).  Now, don't get me wrong -- I want to be pregnant and bear my own children.  But, oh, how I want to adopt and foster!!

It seems to me that Jesus loves adoption, too.  After all, he adopted me!

"In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will."  Ephesians 1:4b-5

And I realized --

This desire is from Him.


You know, there are just so many minutes and hours and days when I doubt that I will be married and have kids.  But His Word says -- no, it PROMISES -- 


"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4


Jesus, I will take you at Your Word, and I delight myself in You as I wait.  Love you, Jesus!