I've been learning a lot about consecration lately -- dying to self, giving up my rights. And I just got a first-hand, real life learning experience. In education, we say real world situations make for the best learning.
I really wanted this job. I mean, REALLY wanted this job. But when I brought my request before the Lord, this is what I said to Him
Jesus, I want this job. But what I want more than anything is Your will in my life.
I give up my rights to this job. I consecrate myself to You and to Your plan, even
when that plan doesn't match my desires.
Let me just tell you, I had to pray that sucker about a hundred times a day. And let me just say for the record that just because you give your desires to Him, just because you have sacrificed Your goals and aspirations for the glory of the cross....doesn't mean you don't still feel! This is the proof of the nervousness I felt for the last couple of weeks. Lovely, I know.
|Cold sores don't help when you're stressed!|
Friday was interview day and by 3:00 that afternoon, I still hadn't heard if I was getting an interview and I was pretty much devastated. Thankfully at 3:30 I had a message that I had a 5:10 interview. I jetted off to the interview, got asked every question EXCEPT the ones I had prepped and was off to the opera with my mom.
We have been waiting for what seems like forever for the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts to finally be built and opened. And it did not disappoint. It is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!!!!
We saw Tourandot and it was wonderful! I love going to operas and hearing arias that I recognize but didn't realize where they came from! Like this one. Skip to 2:40 on the video if you wanna hear the part you'll recognize.
We were in heaven, enjoying the beautiful venue for the first time!
|In our seats. I don't think there's a bad seat in the place!|
|This is the inside.|
|After the second act.|
Well.....today is Monday. And after waiting the entire day, anxious with nerves.....I finally got the call.
I didn't get the job.
I'm gonna be honest. I'm sad. I stopped for Chipotle for dinner (the ultimate comfort food) and enjoyed a glass of wine.
I'm pretty sure I'll be going to get some ice cream tonight, too. And here's the deal. I totally trust the Lord. I trust that if He wanted me in one of those jobs, I would be in one of those jobs. I trust that He knows what He's doing. But that doesn't mean I don't feel things. I can still feel the heartbreak of rejection. I can still feel the disappointment.
And let me tell you, I feel those things tonight!! But what I know is more important than what I feel. My feelings seem to change every second! But I am standing firm on the knowledge that my Daddy in heaven knows what's best for me. If He doesn't want me in that position, He must have something even better in store for me. I trust that He's withholding the good to bless me with the great.
And I. Can't. Wait!!!
He has a plan. He's gonna work that plan out in my life, and I'm going to just hold on and enjoy the ride. Broken hearts and all.
What I'd really love tonight is to hear when the Lord has withheld the good in your life to bless you with the great. Please share!!!!