It's a BOY!!!

Welcome to the world, beautiful Luke!!  One of my best friends had baby #2 last night, and I was privileged enough to hold that bundle of joy this evening.  I have a picture just like this one of me holding Luke's big sister Ava on the day she was born.  :-)   Makes me want one of my own even more!!!

 

 

A Month of Challenges

So, for a 28-year-old teacher I probably make a decent amount of money.  For some reason, though, (namely my darned cats and their vet bills!!) this month I feel extremely poor.  After paying my bills and doing that oh-so-exciting Dave Ramsey budget for the month, I am down to virtually zippo money to make it through the month.  I was feeling a little mopey about the whole I-want-to-be-rich-and-I-never-will-be reality that was rearing it's ugly head when God seriously changed my entire frame of mind.  Instead of looking at this month's lack of finances as a burden I have to bear, God presented my situation this month to me as a challenge.  And here's the challenge:  I'm allowed to purchase only 3 food items from the grocery store this month -- milk, bread, fruits/veggies (one fruit and one veggie per trip).  The rest of my food this month is coming from whatever I can create with the things that are already in my freezer and pantry.  Needless to say, the challenge this month is for me to get super creative with my meal choices!!  Otherwise, I may be eating a lot of PB&J.  Wish me luck!!!

My other challenge this month is a bit more personal.  In preparation for the Beth Moore simulcast that my church is hosting in April, I picked up her latest book called "So Long, Insecurity."  Honestly, when I started the book I could maybe name a couple of little insecurities I was holding onto, but I felt like a pretty confident person.  And then Beth Moore (thanks to the leading of the Holy Spirit) had a few things to say to me.  How is it that a person can feel and present herself as self-confident when deep down she is struggling with SOO many insecurities?!  And where in the world did those insecurities come from?!  Most importantly....how do I move past them????  So, as I'm realizing and struggling with all of these insecurities that have become a part of the very fabric of my being, the challenge I'm facing, in the words of Beth Moore, is to trust God to be my "soul-deep security drawn from a source that never runs dry and never disparages me for requiring it."  To trust Him to be the place I can go when, as much as I loathe it, I am needy and hysterical."  Oh, how I want to move past the roadblocks that are keeping me from fulfilling the purpose He has for me!

One last thing that may or may not have any relevance to my challenges this month (in fact, I'm probably just rambling at this point) but that completely spoke to my heart as I read it. 
                                                He knows it's scary to be us.  
WOW.  He knows it's scary, and there's reason I have insecurities.  But oh how I long for the day when, as Beth says, "the old order of things will pass away and all our hardship will be finished."  Praise God.

Craftiness Excitement!

Okay, so I have to show off my handy work!! I am SO proud and SOO loving this little project. Now, I have to give credit where credit is due. I got this idea from another person's blog (CarolineInTexas). What a FABULOUS idea!! LOVE IT!

And I found the PERFECT fabric to go with my blue/brown bedroom motif! It's silly the things that make me happy. :-)

White As Snow

The Lord was so amazing this morning! I had a couple of "ah ha!" moments.

"ah ha!" moment #1: We ended worship today by singing "Jesus Paid It All." If you recall, there is a place in the lyrics that says "My sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow." What an AMAZING word picture when just last night the sky dumped 9 inches of snow on us! I couldn't help but take a picture of the whiteness of the snow this afternoon.


While I was taking the picture all I could do was think of my sin leaving a crimson stain in the purity of that white. Thank you, Jesus, for washing away the stain of my sin!

"ah ha!" moment #2: So, my church has been praying for revival during the month of March and our pastor has been teaching the congregation of the importance of praying and fasting. Today he told us a story about monkeys that was just like the raccoons in "Where the Red Fern Grows." (PS...LOVE THAT BOOK!) I'll tell you the story that I remember reading.

In "Where the Red Fern Grows" the little boy is trying to catch a raccoon so he can have a pelt to train his dogs to hunt. He learns how to catch his first raccoon without a dog from his grandfather. Apparently raccoons love shiny things. So, the boy made a trap out of a log. At the bottom of the log he put a little something shiny to attract the raccoon. Then he made a hole at the top large enough for the raccoon to get his hand through to grab the something-shiny. BUT when the raccoon stuck his hand in, grabbed his shiny treat and began to pull his hand out, he was stuck! The opening of the trap wasn't big enough for the raccoon's fist to go through (and now his hand was in a fist b/c he was grasping his something-shiny). The point is this -- the raccoon could get out of the trap and be free. All he had to do was LET GO.

Goodness, this is something I have struggled with the last few months -- letting go of the one thing I wanted so that God could be in control and I could live in freedom. It made me remember the lyrics of a song ("Let Go" by Lindsay McCaul) that has touched my heart these last few months.

I want to let go
I’m weary and bound
I’m giving it up
I’m laying it down
Take it away
Out of my hands
Out of my reach
Safe in Your plans

Cuz I need to know
That You can hear me
Fill me with Your peace
And cover me gently
Like only You can

So take me, hold me
Break me and mold me
Take me, hold me
Break me and mold me
I want to let go

Cradle my hands
Knuckles so white
Open them up
And say its alright
Show me a plan
Call it Your own
Make it a journey
leading me home

Cuz I need to know
That You can hear me
Fill me with Your peace
And cover me gently
Like only You can

So take me, hold me
Break me and mold me
Take me, hold me
Break me and mold me
I want to let go

Anyway, God is SO good. I'm learning to let go of my life and let Him mold me into the masterpiece He intended me to be. It's amazing how God uses random stories about monkeys and raccoons to remind you of a lesson He's been teaching!

Lauren

First Post

So, I'm joining the rest of the world and starting a blog. Part of me feels slightly egotistical that I would think that my life is interesting enough for anyone else to care to read about it. But that isn't really the purpose behind this blog. I've gone back and forth in my mind about why I want to start a blog, but I think the purpose I've settled on is this. I want a way to document the journey God is taking me on. Lots of people do this sort of thing using a prayer journal or diary. I'm not good at either of those things. My brain goes so much faster than my hand can keep up! So, I'm going to attempt a blog.

For some reason, I feel like a new chapter in my life may be close to beginning. In church on Sunday, my pastor explained to us that in the Bible, the number 7 is used as the number of completion. My heart is still healing from a breakup with a man I saw myself marrying. I was 27. Although I fought it tooth and nail, God completed that chapter of my life with that man. On a side note, He has been so good through the hurt - so faithful to me. He has spoken to me in ways that I have never experienced. In fact, I often feel so much closer to Him during my seasons of pain than I do during my seasons of happiness. Back to my point. :-) Pastor explained that although the number 7 is the number of completion, the number 8 is the number of new beginnings. I turned 28 a little less than a month ago. I'm ready for my new beginning.

My life currently is out-of-control-busy and completely overwhelming. I feel like God has so many things He wants me to learn through this season of singleness, and I'm afraid I'm so busy that I'm going to miss them. Hence, the need for this blog. I want to make a determined effort not to miss the lessons He has for me. No, I'm not where I want to be at 28. I wanted to be married and starting a family. But I'm holding tight to God's promise that He will give me the desires of my heart. So right now, I'm working to delight myself in Him and in nothing else.

Lauren