My Big Fat Mouth

I have been praying about my upcoming summer for a long time.  This fall I thought I was being called to Africa.  I have always wanted to go there, and my church was taking a missions trip this summer.  YES!!  And then there was China.  Dave (my stand-in dad from last year) asked me to pray about returning to China again this summer.  The team is going back to the same city, the same school, pretty much the same kids.

I'm going to be honest.

My first thought was:  NOT.  INTERESTED.

But I told Dave that I would pray about it and I did.  Honestly, the two reasons that kept me coming back to the thought of China were:

#1  I want to spend 3 weeks hanging out with Dave.  He is that cool!
#2  I can't help but believe some of the kids I began building relationships with last summer would be back.  What if I could build on last year and the Lord could really use me for His kingdom this summer??

The deadline was quickly approaching, and I just flat out didn't feel called to go anywhere this summer.  I was really looking forward to the idea of just staying home.  I've never had a summer that was completely mine.  I'm either working or traveling or doing something that prevents me from sitting by the pool all summer long.

Fast forward a few weeks.....

The second to last Sunday in February (the deadline for this trip had either passed or was just days away) Dave stopped me in church and asked me again about going to China.  And in typical Lauren fashion, I opened my big fat mouth.  This is the gist of what I said:

"Dave, I just don't really feel called to China this summer.  There are really only two reasons I'd want to go [I proceeded to list my aforementioned reasons.]  I don't want to have to ask the same people for money again this summer, and I don't have $2000.  Period.  I think that the only way I'd go is if you called me up and said 'Hey, Lauren.  Your trip is paid for.  Come to China!'"

Dave was very respectful and said he understood.  I hugged him, and, knowing I had a little closure in one are of my life, happily went off to service.

Fast forward two days....


This is the email I received from Dave on Tuesday night.

Lauren,

I wanted to share with you, God has provided a way financially for you to serve in China.  I don’t want to get the finances ahead of the commitment, so don’t let me talk you into this.  Search the commitment level and let me know if this is where God is leading.

We can talk Sunday if you like or call.   

Well, if that's not a sign, then I don't know what is.  So......after a lot of laughing (because isn't it just like God to show me who's really in charge here!) and a lot of emotional work of to dying to myself and my free bee summer.......