Sunday, October 24, 2010

Saturday Morning Melt Down

I melted down.  Saturday morning I was out of my house at 7:30 and at my parents' by 8:00 to clean their house (something I've done for the last few years for some extra cash).  By 8:20 I was sobbing into a bowl of cereal at their kitchen table.  Hmmmm....stressed much?

I've always been able to handle a busy life.  I've always been able to pile one more thing on my work load and handle it with grace.  Not this school year.  I have never felt like more of a failure as I do this school year.  Between the never-ending papers of grad school and the weekends spent working at school and my house that hasn't been cleaned in weeks, I just can't do it anymore.  Saturday morning officially ended my cleaning career.  I'm exhausted and stressed and I just want to enjoy life again!  Some of my work/grad school friends and I have decided to form the "I Hate My Life" club.  Obviously, we're kidding.  We don't really hate our lives, but things have been that miserable and overwhelming.

But can I just say how glorious our Father is even during these hardships and stresses??  I love Him for 2 Corinthians 12.

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." 

Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Lord knows I'm at my weakest right now.  And I love Him that He will work through me -- especially when I'm weak.  

We had conferences this past week.  And I was blessed many times over.  In one conference, I was talking with a mom who is just lovely!  She was telling me that her son lreally struggled with his spelling tests last year and how it really upset him to not do well.  I was kind of flabbergasted to hear this because he's one of my students who has scored 100% on every single spelling test we've taken -- and we take one every Friday.  The mom was telling me that she asked her son what he thought was different this year -- why was he doing so much better on his spelling?  

His answer is heaven sent.  He said, "Mom, I think it's my teacher.  She makes me want to learn."  

Lord, have mercy!  I love you, Father!  He knew that I needed to hear that my stress and hard work is paying off.  It MEANS something.  It means a BIG something.  I know that beyond the stress, beyond the long hours -- I am exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing exactly what I'm meant to be doing.  

Thank you, Lord for the beautiful reminder.  Thank you for being strong in my weakness.  

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