We are 1 in 8

Grief reveals itself to me in moments when I least expect it.  Sitting at Chick-Fil-A I find myself thinking about holding my nephew in just a few short months, and it just about brings me to my knees.  

My sister is having a baby.  She told us in December, and it was devastating.  Not that she was having a baby necessarily, but that we have done everything the "right" way and we still aren't pregnant.  That's what's devastating, really.

Most days, most moments, I am fine.  We live life like we always have.  We have a full calendar and loving friends and family.  We don't sit around wringing our hands crying about our infertility.  But then there are these moments that sneak up out of nowhere and cut my heart to the quick. 

This past week was National Infertility Awareness Week.  I had no idea this week even existed.  There is a beautiful blog about infertility called Starbucks, Peace, and the Pursuit of a Baby.  Her point this week?  You are not alone.  This journey can be so lonely.  Infertility really is a silent epidemic.  We don't talk about it because it is so private.  But when we refuse to talk about this struggle, we can isolate ourselves when what we really need is community and support.

1 in 8 couples struggle with fertility.

1 in 8.   That blows my mind.

Here is an excerpt from Chelsea's blog:

If you are reading this today and are struggling, let me assure you of the fact that you are not alone.

You are not alone if you have never seen 2 pinks lines.  

You are not alone if you have seen two pink lines but your arms are still empty.

You are not alone if you have to give yourself shots.   

You are not alone if going to see the doctor (again) drains you of all your energy.   

You are not alone if you are hopeful during a 2 week wait.

You are not alone if the thought of another 2 week wait makes your heart anxious.   

You are not alone if you have ever laid in bed crying and wondering When? and Why?  

You are not alone if you have felt like the only one who really feels like this.  

You are not alone if you feel like you just can’t act like you have it all together one more day.

You are not alone if you are scared and confused.

You are not alone if you are questioning everything from trying to have your own child to learning about surrogates and gestational carriers.

You are not alone if you have heard that you are dealing with bad eggs.

You are not alone if you have heard that your partner has male infertility factors.

You are not alone if you are just giving it one more month.

You are not alone if you are afraid to say something to anyone because you anticipate a hurtful comment.

You are not alone if you need to seek a support group, find a counselor, take a break.

You are not alone if you engage in social media for support. (Instagram is the BEST group of ladies out there!)

You are not alone if you can’t remember the “pre-trying to conceive” you.

You are not alone if you aren’t sure when to seek help or talk to a specialist.

You are not alone if you are dealing with secondary infertility.

You are not alone if you are lead down a path to adoption.

You are not alone if you need to use donor eggs or donor sperm.

You are not alone if you feel like you can’t plan your life because you don’t know what the next 4 weeks will look like.

You are not alone if you have cut out gluten, dairy, sugar, red meat, vegetables that rhyme with “bale”, caffeine, anything with red dye …. all in hopes that this could be the thing that helps you get pregnant.

I can identify with a lot of what Chelsea said.  It's so good to know we aren't the only ones struggling (or feeling a bit crazy!).  This journey is long and hard.  It's full of heartache and tears.  But we can have hope in The One who has a plan for us.  He hasn't called us to do life in isolation.  He's called us to community and to walk the hard paths with one another.