Lip Service

This past week I interviewed for a job that I really want.  I've been praying and thinking about a potential change for a long time, but I hadn't ever felt a peace about other positions I'd looked into.  Over Spring Break I prayed in one of my quiet times that God would move during that week to provide an opportunity for me.  That morning, the job I had been waiting for was posted.

I've had several people praying for me and for the interview, and the mindset I've verbalized to friends and family is that "if God wants it to happen, it'll happen."  And in the same breath I would silently worry and stress over the interview.

After the interview I did what I always do...I over analyze, I stress and I worry.  I disect every minute and every word of every question and every answer I gave.  And then I agonize over the shoulda, woulda, and coulda.  I agonized to the point of getting virtually zero sleep the night of the interview...the night I should have been relieved to have gotten through it all!  I just laid there and worried.  What I was really doing, though, was trusting my future to my own ability.  I was taking back control.

Then today it hit me like a brick wall.  If you're going to trust Me, then trust Me.  If not, stop with the lip service.  While with my words I was trusting God to take care of me, my heart gave me away.  I was trusting more in my ability to answer questions in an interview than I was in His ability to put me in the places He wants me.  I need to make a choice - in every area of my life.  Trust Him or don't.  But stop with the lip service.