To Extend or Not To Extend -- That is the Question

Actually, that's not the question.  The question is HOW to extend.

In the next few months I'm turning the big 3-0.  Refer to my last post to understand slightly how I'm feeling about this fact.  I've decided that if I have to leave my 20's, I'm going to do it with extremely good-looking hair.

I have always hated my hair.  I have a lot of it, but it's super fine and goes flat and ugly fast.  Because of that, I've had to keep my hair relatively short.  So, naturally, I've always been a little envious of my girlfriends who have long, flowing, beautiful hair.  I'm sure you can see why!!

Oh, beautiful hair!

More beautiful hair! 

I think this is the longest my hair has EVER been.

So, for my thirtieth (wow....that is hard to type!!) I'm thinking about asking for hair extensions.  The hard part of this decision is how to extend.  Braided?  Fusion?  Synthetic?  It seems like the options are endless.  I need some guidance.  I want them to look natural, but don't want to spend an arm and a leg in the process.  I've heard from some people that it can damage your hair??   HELP!!  Any experiences, suggestions, recommendations in the world of hair extensions are very much appreciated!!!

Three Decades

I was listening to some talk radio this week on the way home from work.  I honestly can't even remember what the topic of conversation was.  But whatever they were discussing, the host kept talking about how "three decades ago xyz happened."  Three decades ago this and three decades ago that.  I was semi-mentally involved in the topic, thinking, "Man!  Three decades is a long time!  This guy has a point!"

And then the host reminded me just how long three decades is.

THIRTY YEARS.

Holy Oldness!!!  I'm looking down the barrel of THREE DECADES!!!!

It is very possible that I had a panic attack right then and there.   And promptly thereafter switched radio stations.

Tonight Calls for Ice Cream

These last few weeks have been stressful -- to say the least.  I found out a while back about some administrative internships opening up in my district.  Basically, this just means an assistant principal that gets paid like teacher.  I just finished a graduate degree in administration, so I was pumped to find this kind of opportunity in the middle of the school year.  I applied and then I prayed.  And I prayed.  And I prayed.

I've been learning a lot about consecration lately -- dying to self, giving up my rights.  And I just got a first-hand, real life learning experience.  In education, we say real world situations make for the best learning.  

I really wanted this job.  I mean, REALLY wanted this job.  But when I brought my request before the Lord, this is what I said to Him

                        Jesus, I want this job.  But what I want more than anything is Your will in my life. 
                       I give up my rights to this job.  I consecrate myself to You and to Your plan, even 
                       when that plan doesn't match my desires.


Let me just tell you, I had to pray that sucker about a hundred times a day.  And let me just say for the record that just because you give your desires to Him, just because you have sacrificed Your goals and aspirations for the glory of the cross....doesn't mean you don't still feel!  This is the proof of the nervousness I felt for the last couple of weeks.  Lovely, I know.

Cold sores don't help when you're stressed!

Friday was interview day and by 3:00 that afternoon, I still hadn't heard if I was getting an interview and I was pretty much devastated.  Thankfully at 3:30 I had a message that I had a 5:10 interview.  I jetted off to the interview, got asked every question EXCEPT the ones I had prepped and was off to the opera with my mom.

We have been waiting for what seems like forever for the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts to finally be built and opened.  And it did not disappoint.  It is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!!!!

We saw Tourandot and it was wonderful!  I love going to operas and hearing arias that I recognize but didn't realize where they came from!  Like this one.  Skip to 2:40 on the video if you wanna hear the part you'll recognize.

We were in heaven, enjoying the beautiful venue for the first time!

In our seats.  I don't think there's a bad seat in the place! 

This is the inside.

After the second act.

I spent the rest of the weekend catching up at school and trying not to think about the big decision (that could affect the rest of my career!) that was coming on Monday.

Well.....today is Monday.  And after waiting the entire day, anxious with nerves.....I finally got the call.

I didn't get the job.

I'm gonna be honest.  I'm sad.  I stopped for Chipotle for dinner (the ultimate comfort food) and enjoyed a glass of wine.

I'm pretty sure I'll be going to get some ice cream tonight, too.  And here's the deal.  I totally trust the Lord.  I trust that if He wanted me in one of those jobs, I would be in one of those jobs.  I trust that He knows what He's doing.  But that doesn't mean I don't feel things.  I can still feel the heartbreak of rejection.  I can still feel the disappointment.

And let me tell you, I feel those things tonight!!  But what I know is more important than what I feel.  My feelings seem to change every second!  But I am standing firm on the knowledge that my Daddy in heaven knows what's best for me.  If He doesn't want me in that position, He must have something even better in store for me.  I trust that He's withholding the good to bless me with the great.

And I. Can't. Wait!!!  

He has a plan.  He's gonna work that plan out in my life, and I'm going to just hold on and enjoy the ride.  Broken hearts and all.

What I'd really love tonight is to hear when the Lord has withheld the good in your life to bless you with the great.  Please share!!!!

Type A

I am the epitome of Type A.  I am a perfectionist.  In fact, I take pride in my perfectionistic tendencies.


Uh oh.  The "p" word.  Pride.  


This week in my discipleship class we talked about consecration.  Now, if you're anything like me, you've heard that word thrown around in church a lot.  Part of the vocabulary in Christian-ese.  Here's what it means:


con·se·cra·tion [kon-si-krey-shuhn] 
     verb  
1.  the act of dying to oneself
2.  picking up your cross
3.  giving up your rights


Whatever I am willing to die for is what I am consecrated to.  In other words, where are my priorities?  Where do I spend my time?  What do I put above all else?  Well.....I can unequivocally say that I am currently consecrated to my job.  It is my priority.  Above all else.  Hmmmm.....sounds to me like my priorities are a little skewed here.  


Let's be honest.  Like I said before, I am a perfectionist.  I want my to-do list completely marked off every night before I leave work.  I want my lessons to be perfect.  I want my bulletin boards to be perfect.  I want my SMART board slides to be perfect.  


I. Like. Perfect.


Now, I can clothe this passion, this obsession with perfection at work in the "calling" that is education.  It's for my babies!  It's for the future of our country!  I am doing this for them!  And I genuinely, genuinely believe those things.  Hear me when I say this --  I am passionate about my job and the importance of it!!!!  It truly is a noble profession.  HOWEVER.....When it comes right down to the nitty gritty, this is nothing more than good, meaningful intention hidden among pride.  


Not only am I a perfectionist, but I'm a wee bit competitive.  (I'm also good at sarcasm.  "Wee bit" might have been an understatement.)  This school year I have a PHENOMENAL new teammate which pretty much rounds out our second grade team as the most perfectionistic (is that even a word?) teaching team on the face of the planet.  And we are good at what we do.  Here's where the competitive thing comes back to bite me.  


When my teammates have created some magnificent bulletin board or lesson plan or filing system (yes, even filing system), I feel a little bit bad about myself.  A little guilty for not having spent the time doing that myself.  A little less than.  Is this making any sense at all??


And so I give up another weekend to work at school.  I stay up late at night grading papers and making lesson plans instead of having my quiet time.  I skip the gym in the morning to get to school and finish that to-do list and try to stay one step ahead of the game.  But in the process, I have become consecrated to my job.  I have become consecrated to my pride.  Wow.  It really is too bad that the Lord sees my heart.  I'm so good at hiding these truths from the outside world!  


But here's the bottom line.  I am not going to die on the cross of room 103.  I am not going to die on the cross of perfectionism.  YES, I will continue to work my tail off at school because what I do every day means something and sometimes it means everything to a student.  


BUT......


We learned also that burnt offerings (sacrifices) were completely consumed in the fire.  NOTHING was left of them.  I will not be a living sacrifice to my job.  I will not be utterly consumed by a job that will always have a to-do list a mile long, a job that will always have new expectations and requirements and guidelines.  I will be a living sacrifice to the One and Only.  I want to be consumed by HIM.


The other part of being consecrated that spoke to me is giving up my rights.  Ouch.  If I'm honest, here are the rights I'm still holding on to.


I deserve to be married.
I deserve to have children.
I deserve to have a job that fulfills me.
I deserve to have my dreams fulfilled.


But the honest truth is that I don't deserve jack diggety dog anything good.  I deserve death.  For the wages of sin IS DEATH.  And, Lord knows, I am a sinner.  Saved by grace alone - the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.  So I choose to be consecrated to my Savior.  I give up my rights to marriage and children and career and dreams.  I give up my rights to happiness when what I truly desire is holiness.  This in no way, shape or form means that I don't continue to desire those things.  But I sure as heck am not entitled to them.   Not my will, but HIS will be done.


Jesus, help me to let go of my pride.  Help me to put first things first.  You are my first and my last.  The beginning and the end.  Remind me of this daily.  I will die on the cross of Calvary with my Savior.  I will die to myself.  For whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will keep it.

Pictures

This is just me trying to get caught up on posting my pictures!  

China

A couple of weeks ago I had a party to thank the people who supported me financially and prayerfully in order to go to China.  It was SOOO much fun with tons of people.  Unfortunately, I was having so much fun talking with everyone that I forgot to take any pictures!!  The only pics that I got were beforehand.  These were my decorations...

For a party favor I made paper fortune cookies with the key Bible verses that the Lord used when telling me He wanted me to go to China.  They turned out super cute!

Labor Day Weekend

It's become somewhat of a tradition to go to the country where my mom is from on Labor Day weekend.  So we jump in the car and drive an hour south of Kansas City to my mom's family farm where my uncle and his wife live now.  

This is just a good 'ole country road. 

The view of the house from their gravel driveway.

My cousin Debby, me and my sister.

My aunt Ellen, my uncle's wife Carol and my mom.

My mom with her brother and sister.

It is also a tradition for my family to go to the Kansas City Symphony's Pops in the Park on Labor Day.  It's a super fun evening with the KC Symphony giving a concert outside.  We always pack a yummy picnic dinner and enjoy some beautiful music.  This year we also got to enjoy some beautiful weather!

My dad enjoyed the food.  :-)  We loved this picture!

Lots and lots of fellow concert goers...

I got a wee bit chilly....

And these two got a little too close for everyone else's comfort!  Our whole section was staring and whispering at the inappropriateness.  GET A ROOM!!!!  

 The Blakemans joined us again this year for the festivities.

What a fun weekend!!!

The Ultimate Awkward First Date

I love sarcasm.  Dry humor is my favorite.  So when I want some sarcasm, I check in with a friend of mine from church.  I affectionately refer to him as my "funny, sarcastic friend" when telling his stories to my family.  I can't help but share this with you all.  


This is what the worst first ChristianMingle date would look like, as told from Ryan's POV.  (I am still laughing out loud reading this!)


My picture of a worst first date from christian mingle would include elements such as the following: 
1) an escort so both of you remain above reproach 
2) your suitor would likely be wearing either a short sleeve shirt with a tie or have an
Amish beard or a sweater vest 
3) awkward theological conversation 
4) obligatory questions about where you attend church & where you're ministering


You no doubt would mention your trip to China, and then you would get to play the "i've been there; did you do this" game, where he talks about how much more spiritual his mission trips have been.

And the ultimate first Christian date would be awkward street evangelism.

Randoms from My Phone

Some things that I love --- brought to you from my phone camera.

I mean, seriously.  How can you not love that little face?! 

My little Ginger.  Ornery as sin, but cute as a button.  

After the past few weeks, I needed to be reminded why I do what I do!  This is from one of my babies (aka students) from last school year. 

Here's another plug for A&D Ointment.  This was my sunburn from Sunday.  

Thanks to the miracle ointment, it's gone and it didn't peel!  I'm happy to put up with a little greasiness to avoid the peeling process!

After this past week, I have more than earned tonight's dinner.  It's sad how excited I am for this!!!